where the thought would go

otherwise it has to be

me

and that’s a poor guide

at best

book

printed 100 years ago

by the inventor of astrology?

it belonged to my grandfather

the seal of the masons inside the front cover

and there is so much more than petty strange predictions

you find

and the only one who ever seemed to have it close

to right

over the years was jean dixen

because she knew there was more than a sun sign and

played it close to the wire

you have to think of history

and how it all came to be

those were odd times

and people were trying to figure out

people

why they were the way they were and

the mystics went one way

and freud and jung went the other

i have studied both and decided

nobody knows shit anyway

it’s all a guessing game where the odds say

they’ll get it right once in awhile but

if you want to predict

who a person really is

or what they will do

i suggest

talking to them

my eyebrows need plucking

i need plucking

christ

does it never end?

i’m looking for you inside a hopeless anger

making sure footsteps never know their mark

walking towards you there is no way

light up my bricks

the song you sing

will knock down

the wall and bring

me to my knees begging you please

oh please

see me for who i always was

and what we could never ever be

hold me one time

and you’ll be sure

you can’t see what’s best for me

i’ll take it to every mountain

i’ll swim it through every sea

storm through the desert in the strength of your eyes

you can’t know how i’ll never be free

not sure what to be right now

your way killed the sacred cow

and hung it up to dry

here

have some jerky on the fly

i hear it’s good

you know i’m lucky if i know my name

i’m thoughtless if i play this game

stick your apples in the rain

and crunch them down with buttered toast

i’ve always known what’s best for me

without you i can still believe

despite the empty boast

i have more and you have most…

light up my bricks

the song you sing

will knock down

the wall and bring

me to my knees begging you please

oh please

see me for who i always was

i feel for this girl

really do she’s only 19

and now a detective calls

looking for her and apparently

getting her on the plane i could have

been assisting a fleeing felon or maybe

nothing that serious but

how can one person stir up

this much trouble her

family doesn’t know what

to do and she’s sleeping on the couch

at her dad’s now

and daddy is angry because the deputy

has his cell number

because god forbid her life should be his responsibility

i know she was looking for

stability

some form of shelter beneath a grandparent’s wing

but come to think of it…

she slept on the couch here, too

i dream of saying:

you are a sad man

penning a tail of poop

so you can shit on someone

i wonder at your need for drama

and i have these words

these really great lines

but i can’t wake up to write them down

and in my dream

pop up ads appear

everywhere

while my pest patrol fails

and finally i say fuck it

i won’t post the poem…

but you’re being a horse’s ass

just the same

damn i

hope i remembered to put the brake on in the car

that would be fun

picking  it up at the bottom of state street

and the buildings were wavy

that seemed strange

convex or concave

i’m not sure

my knee stared to ache and my right shoe

felt like it was falling apart and

i thought that’s what i get for going hiking

in the poor things

i miss the mall

that was like an apocalypse from the underside of tomorrow

a food court still there like a finger

chopped off from its hand

left to bleed on stone sparkling

the sidewalk between the globs of black gum

it was empty and dying too

while i stopped at a sign that said

coming soon

by 2011

bigger and better

always

the signs of progress

where the familiar gets

bruised

and i have no place

to shop

and never saw

the sex

part and now it makes complete

sense

but will leave the site up

thank you so much for reading and

all encouragement, feedback, and just plain love has been much appreciated

for correspondence:  eebrinkeer@netzero.com